Three's Company
by blackragdoll
Summary: Dylan and Cole Sprouse both lust for the same girl, and will do anything to get her...but can she handle both at the same time?
1. Chapter 1

"No one should be allowed to be that hot."

Dylan and Cole stared at the tv, which was showing Entertainment Tonight, featuring an interview with Lauren Carmichael.

"I know, right." Dylan replied to his brother. He couldn't take his eyes away the television, where his celebrity crush was modeling something that looked like it belonged in a lingerie store. Or a brothel.

Lauren Carmichael was an actress. But she was so much more than that.

At the tender age of 19, she had blown up in Hollywood, not only becoming a critically acclaimed actress, but also sex symbol, and total man eater. One could credit her success to her physicality's; long dark hair, sultry eyes, an hourglass figure and legs for days. Also, she's a well-rounded individual, with a cultured intelligence that presented itself in every interview she did, a quirky sense of humor that kept you on your toes, talent, artistic vision, and maturity . But none of these attributes are what made her so attractive, such a star.

It was her personality. Impossibly charming, honest, and confident to boot. She had been dominating the tabloids for over two years now with her exploits, or should I say sexploits. She made no effort to keep secret her love for parties and guys, and had blown through most of Hollywood's eligible bachelors. She was impossible to hate, because the second you saw her on a screen, she sparkled. She never tried to make excuses, or downplay her behavior. She'd just chuckle quietly, with a mischievous glint in her eye.

It was that very glint, that she had just given the camera when asked if she would be attending Mitchel Musso's birthday party that night, that drove Cole crazy.

Cole Sprouse had thought his hormones had evened out by the time he turned 17, and stopped getting a boner every time he saw down a girl's shirt. But here he was, two years later, waking up covered in sweat with dampened boxers every night. He had never had such vivid wet dreams in his life, and he was tired of it. While he had never been particularly gifted with the ladies, he knew he had enough charm/fame/money to get a girl in bed with him. Cole normally wasn't the casual sex type, but with these recent dreams he was horny as fuck. And maybe a little desperate.

Dylan Sprouse had never really seen the point in celebrity crushes. In his experience, most actresses were crazy, and the perfection that people see in magazines is never what they're like in real life. But as he looked at the HD tv screen, he couldn't help but feel a rush of blood. There was just something about Lauren Carmichael that was just so undeniably sexy. There was no other word for it. Sure, she seemed smart and cool and all that stuff, but all Dylan could focus on was the thought of bending her over and fucking her brains out.

He shook himself and looked away from the tv, clearing his head and calming his hormones. He turned to make some halfhearted comment to Cole, when he noticed what his twin was doing. Cole's eyes were glued to the tv, his mouth hung open and he literally appeared to be drooling. He also couldn't help but notice a bulge in his brothers' pants, which was enough to force him to snap out of it. 

"Cole! Snap out of it man. You're doing to get drool on the couch."

Cole jumped at the harshness of his brothers words, but could not bring himself down from Lauren Land.

"She is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen" He said in awe.

"Yeahh, well judging from your pants I'm guessing you're thinking about more than just innocent beauty." Dylan smirked.

Cole looked down at his crotch, and then blushed in embarrassment. He grabbed two pillows from the couch, one to cover his lap with and the other to launch at Dylan.

"Ouch!" The pillow made contact with Dylan's head. "Hey, I didn't say there was anything wrong with it. I don't blame you, she's hot, man. Like, smokin' hot. "

He paused for a moment.

"Hey, we'll probably meet her tonight at Mitchel's, right? Think she'd hook up with me?" Dylan said excitedly.

Cole rolled his eyes, "Yeahhh right, Dyl. Lauren Carmichael has dated rock stars, pro athletes, male models and action stars. Her last hook up was Ryan Gosling, for Christ's sake. Why on earth would she go from a 6'3, 220 pound, 32 year old man, to a skinny, 5'8, 19 year old baby faced boy?"

Dylan shrugged. "Diversity?"

Cole scoffed at him and turned back around to the tv.

"But seriously though, I think she might like me! I mean, I'm the same age as her, I'm artistic, fuck you I've lost all of my baby fat, and I'm told I'm pretty good in bed. What's not to like?" Dylan concluded.

Cole couldn't decide if he was being serious or not.

"Look, Lauren Carmichael could have literally any man she wants. I can't see her picking from the Disney tween heart throb pool." Dylan was about to cut in, but Cole continued. "Besides, I've had a crush on her forever. She is the star of all of my fantasies, and if you actually hooked up with her I would disown you. So, if by some miracle she did want to fuck you, then we would just have to assume she would want to fuck me as well, and you would have to step down."

Dylan was about to protest, when he had a thought.

"Or…we could both have sex with her." He said quietly.


	2. Chapter 2

Cole laughed. "Yeah, I'm sure that's what a sex bomb like her wants to do, rush through one scrawny teenager so she can get to the next. You forget, Dyl. This girl is a sexual being. She's been with men almost twice our age, you have to know she'll be looking for experience, and something new. And I have no doubt that she's fucked guys her own age before."

Dylan stared at the floor, a light blush covering his cheeks. He looked up at Cole, "But that's what I'm saying…we can offer her something that I'm sure she's never had."

Cole stared at him, not understanding what he was trying to say.

Dylan took a deep breath. "Twins."

Cole still didn't get it.

"When I said we could both have sex with her…I meant at the same time."

Cole's eyes opened wide. He got it that time.

"Ew ew ew ew EW! That is so gross and gay and disgusting and just plain creepy! I am YOUR BROTHER. Ew ew ew ew ew…" Cole stormed off down the hall. Dylan chased after him.

"Hey, wait up! Come on, I was joking. Besides, it's only gay if our balls touch!" He said with a chuckle.

Cole stared at him with a look of disgust and horror.

"Come on, you can't argue with my logic. I'll bet you anything she's never been with twins before. Two guys at once, maybe. But not twins." Cole was about to interject, but Dylan stopped him. "Besides, isn't that the ultimate universal fantasy? A threesome with twins? Tell me it isn't."

Cole stared at his brother in disbelief.

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. All I know is that it is wrong and gross to have sex with your brother. And being as we're twins, also narcissistic."

Dylan laughed, "But we wouldn't be having sex with each other! Don't you see, we'd just be having sex, next to each other, with the same girl! Big difference."

Cole was speechless. He stared incredulously at his brother, until he could finally mutter out that he was going to take a shower, and scurried away.

Lauren Carmichael had just finished giving an interview with Entertainment Tonight, and was now being whisked into a car by her publicist. She had to run to her apartment, get changed, run to the salon and have her hair/make up done. And maybe even try to fit in something to eat. It was no fun drinking on an empty stomach.

"So who's going to be there tonight, at Mitchells'?" Lauren asked her publicist, Amy.

"The usual Disney brats," She replied while scrolling through her Blackberry. "Just don't let them get to you."

Lauren sighed. She hated/was hated by the Disney Channel stars. They were such fakers, with their purity rings and vows of sobriety, while every night they were fucking each other and doing a line of blow at the same time. They hated her, she assumed, because she was completely honest about what she did, and still managed to be successful and maintain the approval of the general public. The Disney kids were always trying to take her down a peg.

"They never get to me, they just annoy me. Besides, haters gonna hate."

"Well why even go? I mean as your publicist it's my motto that you can never attend too many parties, but as someone who cares about you, why put yourself in that situation?"

"I promised Mitchell I'd go. He's actually a really cool guy, and I think if he had it his way half of the Disney kids wouldn't even be there. I can't just break a promise ."

Amy rolled her eyes, "You know, you are disgustingly moral sometimes."

"Only on Tuesdays." Lauren said with a wink, and with that she ran into her apartment to pick out a suitable outfit for the evening. And by suitable, she meant completely inappropriate.

"That's what you're wearing?" Amy stated, once Lauren exited her apartment building.

She was wearing a skin tight leopard corset dress, with black lining the cups of her breasts, making them appear even more perky than usual. She completed the looks with studded bracelets and 5 inch cage heels. She certainly didn't look like she was attending a Disney party.

"I just thought, if those Disney bitches are going to hate me anyways, might as well give them something to talk about!" Lauren said, with a spring in step.

"Uhh…ok…though it should be interesting to see what the Disney boys think of it…" Amy replied with a smirk.

Lauren just rolled her eyes. Disney boys were far too goody-too-shoes for her.


	3. Chapter 3

"Mitchel! My man!" Dylan screamed to his pal through a drunken crowd.

They were on the red carpet, about to enter the New York City club that would host Mitchel's 21st birthday party.

"Dyl! Cole!" Mitchel scream back through the drunken haze.

Dylan and Cole pushed their way trough the numberous drunk people to make their way to the sidelines with one of their best friends.

"So, finally 21, eh?" Cole said with a smirk.

"Pfft, like you guys have a right to scoff – you're still 2 years away from being able to drink legally!" Michael said with a laugh

"That may be so, but you know we can out drink you any day of the week!" Dylan rebutted.

"Yeah well, it's 2 against 1. I don't like those odds." Michael chuckled.

Dylan gave Cole a knowing glace. "But isn't 2 again 1 really the best way to play it?" Dylan said suggestively.

Cole elbowed him in the ribs and Michael looked at him, confused. He brushed it off with a laugh and said, "Yeah, I guess you're right. Anyways, are you guys gonna come in, or are you too afraid of getting thrown out of the bar?"

"Pfft. Like anyone would throw us out. We could pass for 30!" Cole declared.

"Yeah, more like 13." Michael said under his breath.

Dylan just smiled and pretended not to hear.

Lauren arrived just in time to catch the tail end of the red carpet. The photographers went crazy once she appeared, and she got in a few good poses before it was over and she was whisked inside.  
>The New York City club was every Lauren has imagined it would be. Large, updated and intimidating. But she was Lauren Roderick after all, not one to back down from a challenge. So she marched right up to the bar and ordered a double rum and coke. The bartender gave her a shy smile and made it, no questions asked.<br>This would be easier than she though.

She downed her drink within seconds and asked for a shot of tequila. Onc e she downed that, she was ready to observe the party. The usual suspects were there, Miley Cyrus, The Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato…sprinkled with a whole new generation of Disney stars. From what she could see, they were all robotic conformist, their every public move controlled by the Disney corporation.

"I might as well find Mitch," She thought, "He's fun, at least. Maybe he can introduce me to some not stuck up people…"

Lauren wandered through the crowed, growing more and more anxious by each stare from a DCS (Disney Channel Star). By the time she found the birthday boy she had downed 3 more glasses of champagne.

"Heyyy birthday boy!" She said, giving Mitchel a hug.

"Laur! I can't believe you made it!" He replied, astonished.

"Pfft, did you think I was going to ditch you or something?" She said with a smile.

"No, but…I mean, I know this isn't really your scene. I really appreciate you showing up. You're a good friend.

Lauren was taken aback for a second. It had been a long time since someone from young Hollywood had called her a good friend. She smiled and decided to keep up the playful act for the night.

"Well then you can repay me by doing some shots!"

At that very moment, the dj turned on "Shots!" by LMFAO. Lauren was entranced. She dragged Mitchel out to the center of the dance floor and grabbed a bottle of Gray Goose.

"Ok, now whenever they say "Shots" we have to drink!" She said.

"Are you crazy? That's like half the song." Mitchel exclaimed.

"Exactly!" She winked at him. Maggie had been drinking for 7 years, and she was still underage. She could out-drink the 21 year 2 to 1 if she wanted. But she decided to have some fun instead.

Shot after shot, drink after drink. Lauren and Mitchel were drinking them down like juice. After polishing off a quart of vodka, Mitchel remembered he had to be the host.

"Laur, I need to introduce you to some people! There are some really cool kids here, you'll love them!"

"Yeah…I kind of doubt that…" Lauren said with a laugh, "but go ahead, show me off!"

So Mitchel made his way through the crowds, Lauren at his side. She met everyone from Cody Simpson to Doc Shaw to Justin Beiber. Finally, Mitchel arrived at the Sprouse twins.

'Whoa.' Lauren thought. 'They got hot.' From what she remembered from the Suite Life of Zack and Cody, the Sprouse Twins were blonde chubby 14 year olds. But oh how they'd grown.

Dylan had to be about 5"11 with shortish blonde hair and a muscular build. Cole seemed to be about 5'12 with longer, wavy blond hair, and a slighter build. Both had grown into quite the sexy specimens. Lauren was amazed.


End file.
